The Jersey Shore is usually home to many who spend St. Patrick’s Day toasting the patron saint himself who banished snakes from Ireland. While things might be a bit muted this year bars and restaurants will certainly be more alive than last year so that is a good thing.  This day also means a tradition like no other when it comes to the Hometown View as I deliver a little ditty from Joseph Keefe (with my own twists) about what being Irish truly means.  As the grandson of Lillian Maloney who arrived here from Ireland I remind you while this is tongue-in-cheek there’s more truth than fiction.

Being Irish means:

  • You will never play pro basketball.
  • You swear very well.
  • At least one of your cousins is a cop, fireman, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds public office.
  • You think you sing very well and while you don’t know the words that does not stop you.
  • You have no idea how to make a long story short.
  • Much of your food was boiled.
  • You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
  • You will be punched for no good reason a lot. Some punches are legacies from past generations.
  • Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
  • You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start.
  • You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent you make up for in frequency.
  • Your parents were on a first-name basis with everyone in the ER of your local hospital.
  • You are or know someone named Murph. If you don’t know Murph then you now Mac.  If you don’t know either of them for sure you know Sully.
  • You have a sister or cousin named Mary, Eileen, Catherine or Colleen.
  • You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
  • There wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

Being Irish means you’ll wear green today, eat corned beef and yearn to hear the sound of bagpipes and sing “Danny Boy.”  Being Irish means today is your day…enjoy it!

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