An Open Letter To The Guy With A Full Cart In The Self-Checkout
Dear Guy With The Full Cart At The Self-Checkout,
We don't know each other, but we made eye contact earlier today.
I was the guy with a single package of sushi waiting for a self-checkout machine.
You were the guy with a shopping cart piled high with groceries at one of those same self-checkout stations.
I'm going to guess that we made eye contact because you actually felt my irritation burning holes in the back of your head.
What can I say? My face has always had a habit of saying a lot more than my mouth.
It wasn't prolonged eye contact. Just enough to silently get across, "yup, I see you. We all do".
I guess lunch time seems like a good time to take your heaping pile of soda, Hamburger Helper, tomato sauce, frozen pizzas, an awkward amount of Vienna Sausages (what are you making for dinner, anyway?), and what looked like about a dozen single rolls of toilet paper through the self-checkout, but it's not.
In fact, there were a few of us who were at the grocery store expecting to grab a quick bite to eat (with an emphasis on quick).
It wasn't just me rolling eyes around like the bonus game on a pinball machine.
The lady behind me with just a salad and the gentleman next to her with a Snapple, a package of Oreos, and a package of deli meat traded those knowing looks among ourselves.
Those looks that say, "this guy over here!" between a hungry group of folks whose timers were ticking on that precious lunch hour.
So, Guy With The Full Cart At The Self-Checkout, I know the rules don't apply to you and the rest of us were too polite to say anything (because, after all, if nobody says anything, it must be OK, right?), but please take the sign that says "Self checkout - 30 items or fewer. Thank you" not as simply a friendly suggestion (with impeccable grammar, I might add), but as a general best practice for doing the whole Life thing.
Sure, you're not going to get a ticket for sidling up to a self-checkout machine with a cart full of stuff, but you're sure not going to make any friends, either.
Thank you, I feel better having gotten that off my chest.
Please enjoy your Vienna Sausage & Hamburger Helper dinner. I'm glad that you have as much toilet paper as you do, it seems like you may need it.
The Hungry Guy Waiting In Line With Only A Single Item And A Dirty Look On His Face.
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