It’s as much a tradition as corned beef and cabbage and like it or not you’re getting it again on St. Patrick’s Day…my little ditty about what being Irish really means.  Today is a public holiday in Ireland but here it’s associated with parties, parades and celebrations.  It was one of James Edward Williams’ favorite days but the son of Lillian Maloney and Percy Williams is not with us any longer so I will toast his spirit at some point today.  But for now I will simply deliver words he loved from Joseph Keefe about what being Irish means:

  • You will never play pro basketball.
  • You swear very well.
  • At least one of your cousins holds political office.
  • You think you sing very well.
  • You have no idea how to make a long story short.
  • You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf (does not apply to Rory McIlroy).
  • Much of your food was boiled.
  • You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
  • You’re strangely poetic after a few beers. You are therefore poetic a lot.
  • You will be punched for no good reason a lot. Some punches are legacies from past generations.
  • Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
  • Many of your sisters are Mary, Catherine or Elizabeth and one might be Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
  • Someone if your family is cheap. It is more than likely you.
  • You don’t know the words but that does not stop you from singing.
  • You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start.
  • “Irish Stew” is a euphemism for “boiled leftovers from the fridge.”
  • You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent you make up for in frequency.
  • There wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
  • You are, or know someone named “Murph.” It you don’t know Murph then you know Mac.  If you don’t know Murph or Mac then you know Sully.
  • You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
  • Your parents were on a first-name basis with everyone in the ER of your local hospital.
attachment-Irish Kevin's-Key West

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