To Hug or Not To Hug

Have you noticed in recent years that men hugging one another has become such a common occurrence?

This is not a headline grabbing topic but I’m interested in knowing when and why it became such acceptable behavior because there was a time when two men hugging outside of their own family was something you rarely saw.  As a matter of fact my little bit of research found that even in family circles hugging, especially between a father and son was not a common greeting.

I’m pretty sure when I was young my father and I hugged often although I really don’t remember. I do know as adults we were always comfortable with it.  However I recall talking about this years ago and learned that many of my friends greeted their fathers with firm handshakes which I guess was a sign of masculinity.

Times have clearly changed.  I don’t think twice about embracing a good friend or someone I have not seen in a while with a hug. It’s not the one you would use at a funeral but more like a “quick hitter” with not a lot of contact.

Look at sports. Everyone hugs, even their opponents and I can tell you that was not the way it was in the 60s, 70s and 80s.  A handshake after a game or quick pat on the back was about the most emotion you would get and now the sports world has become a hug fest.

Some will tell you it’s a cultural thing as in some minority groups men always hugged one another and it’s just catching on with the rest of society.  Others will say it’s the continued feminization of society.

I don’t really think there’s a moment in history which we can refer to as the beginning of the men hugging era and it’s likely just a generational thing.  If my generation is okay with it we passed it on to our children and they are even more open to the male hug as a normal greeting.  Whatever the reason I think it’s good that we are not afraid to show our affection for one another.

There is one downside and that is men, especially young ones, have forgotten the art of the handshake.  They don’t offer a firm hand or look you in the eye and put anything into the effort but rather just a limp and often sweaty grip that couldn’t break an egg.  Today’s REAL MAN is one who has a strong handshake AND a warm hug and yes it’s okay if he likes quiche.