New Jersey DJ Miraculously Uncovers Liquid Gold At Jersey Shore
Our world is now filled with masks, wipes, and sanitizers. A year ago they were hard to find. Now, they're everywhere. While these items have become commonplace, sadly, one beloved commodity has become extremely rare. It's one in high demand and beloved by millions of Americans and, certainly, Jersey Shore residents. Miraculously, one man stumbled upon one of the few remaining today, by accident.
I'm not talking about an everyday ordinary item, at least it isn't any longer. It's one that used to bring smiles to so many and used to be found all around every town at the Jersey Shore. The time of the year didn't matter. The weather didn't matter. If you wanted it, you could get it. No more! In what I can only describe as a national emergency, there is a substantial shortage of Heinz Ketchup packets!
Now, if you want delicious ketchup to slather over your french fries or add flavor to your burger, you may struggle or may need to try e-bay. You see, as restaurant occupancy expands, people get out again, and COVID policies make community bottles of ketchup somewhat obsolete, the demand for single-serve ketchup packets has skyrocketed. That's why you've likely been told either 1) "I'm sorry we're out of ketchup" or 2) given a small plastic cup with ketchup. CNN reports,
"Heinz, the biggest ketchup producer in the country, is at the epicenter of the problem and taking steps to address it. Just days ago, the company announced "a 25% increase in production, totaling 12 billion ketchup packets...a year."
Today, I found liquid gold...aka Heinz Ketchup packets. In a pure stroke of luck, I opened my top drawer at my work desk and found several Heinz Ketchup packets! It was an emotional moment, like winning the Super Bowl and going to Disney World. The feeling of accomplishment rushed over me and I even considered ripping one open and eating it without the main course. However, I practiced self-discipline and restraint.
I don't want to come across as arrogant about my find. I understand, I'm one of the lucky ones. I couldn't imagine eating fried, greasy food without delicious Heinz Ketchup. Can you? I'll use these packets wisely. If you have some liquid gold stashed, use it wisely and good luck. We're all counting on you!