Being Irish Means… – Hometown View

Tomorrow is Saint Patrick’s Day and quite a few Jersey Shore residents will lift a glass and toast the patron saint of Ireland, who died around 460 A.D. Since radio listeners come and go I offer my annual ditty on what being Irish really means and there’s probably more truth than blarney in this.

BEING IRISH MEANS:

• You swear very well.

• At least one of your cousin’s holds political office.

• You will never play pro basketball.

• You think you sing very well and while you don’t know the words you continue to sing anyway.

• You have no idea how to make a long story short.

• You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf….mulligan is one of your favorite words.

• Much of the food you ate as a child was boiled.

• There is not a huge difference between losing your temper and actually killing someone.

• You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.

• You’re very poetic after a few beers. You are therefore poetic a lot.

• You will be punched for no good reason….a lot.

• Some of those punches are legacies from past generations.

• Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.

• You probably have a sister named Mary, Catherine or Elizabeth…one just might be Mary Catherine Elizabeth.

• You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start.

• “Irish Stew” is a euphemism for “boiled leftovers from the fridge.”

• You’re not nearly as funny as you think but what you lack in talent you make up for in frequency.

• There wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

• Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone in the Emergency Room.

• You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

• You are or know someone named “Murph.” If you don’t know “Murph” then you know “Mac.” If you don’t know “Murph” or “Mac” then you certainly know “Sully.”