Top 7 Reasons Not To Move To Ocean County

Ugh! Beaches! Am I right?

If you're someone from, say, Central New Jersey, you know how refreshing the scent of exhaust and oil refineries can be.

Who wants the fresh scent of an ocean breeze on a perfect summer day while digging your toes into the sand, right??

With all of the amazing pizzerias in Ocean County, including the signature tomato pie, it's just too much work to decide which outstanding Italian joint to get your pie from.

Why enjoy a real Jersey Shore pizza when you can just fire up an app and get an assembly line pie delivered to you in 30 minutes or less?

Trees? Wide open fields and nature as far as the eye can see?

Boring!

Between Double Trouble State Park, Cattus Island County Park, Island Beach State Park, and more, why not just enjoy the vistas of sprawling strip malls, highway interchanges, and office parks that you can get north of Ocean County?

"The Garden State"? Lame!

Route 70 - a scenic and convenient conduit to Philadelphia?

Gross!

Mass transit within easy driving distance to get you to New York City?

Sad!

With Ocean County being pretty much smack between the two megalopolis centers, convenience is overrated!

With grocery stores right around every corner and frozen, tasteless seafood from hundreds of miles away available for a pittance (especially if you have a loyalty card!), why head to one of Ocean County's celebrated restaurants on the beaches and bays that literally take fresh seafood deliveries right off the day boats every day?

Meaty, flavorful scallops only feet away? Nah! Let's stick to the rubbery frozen stuff that is only a microwave zap away from destruction!

With one of only a handful of planetariums in the state, the Robert J. Novins Planetarium at Ocean County College is constantly running educational and entertaining programs.

But why waste your time on expanding your mind and imagination when you can just fire up your Netflix and catch the latest episode of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey??

Beaches? Boardwalks? Hikes? Sports Teams?

OMG, enough with the choices already!

Chill out, Ocean County!

If you're a creature of habit and like doing the same thing over and over again day after day, stay the heck away from here!