The Tough Divorce Questions–Sue’s Mommy Blog
For the first 5 years I had a Mommy Blog about my daughter Abby’s life and what it was like for me as a first time Mommy. Well now she’s a 7 year old Diva and I’ve decided to bring back the Mommy Blog. Her life and what she does is just so funny, it’s too funny not to talk about or write about! It’s time to share our adventures with you again.
As you know Abby's Dad and I are divorced. It's been about 3 years now since he has not lived with us. And it gets harder and harder with explaining it to Abby. This girl is so smart and she thinks and thinks about things. It's a sad, sad thing divorce. It's not about the parents that get divorced, it's about the kids. I'm the custodial parent, which means she lives with me and visits with her Dad every other weekend. It's not that he's not in her life, but it's sort of like out of sight out of mind. She often says to me, it seems like I only have one parent. Her father and I have never argued in front of her so she hasn't seen us nasty to each other..that's just how we had to keep it. He's a part of her life and he's so important to her. Maybe she needs to have him do homework with her, go to dinner or the park more so they can talk. Just the two of them. We are surrounded by friends and friends on our block, and their Dad's live with them. So the questions come...like why doesn't Daddy live with us? Why don't I have a brother or sister? The big question, why can't you marry Daddy again? Well for one she knows he's remarried. I handle it the best I can and I'm always honest with her. I've never lied about anything. She needs to tell her Dad how she feels. How do I deal with this? I don't want my kid growing up angry..she gets so angry at me. She yells at me like a 30 year old. And I really think she's angry at the situation not me. So it's a tough situation. I do believe I've created a monster though, because it's just been us the 2 of us and our dogs now for a while. So when I have a friend over that doesn't have kids she's always saying.."Mommy, Mommy Mommy", she doesn't know how to handle when Mommy actually has friends over. Or when I'm paying attention to someone else other than her. What can I do?
Here's a cute story: One of her friends, Robbie's Dad is my friend and we text. They stop by sometimes and we do fun things with the kids, so all of a sudden she thinks we're getting married. I do believe I need to date first before marriage again, but she thinks we're getting married. It's so funny because she went into school and told Robbie that my Mommy and your Dad are getting married. Well Robbie came home from school and told his Dad what Abby said to him. And he says to his Dad, "If you marry Abby's Mom, how am I going to date Abby in Middle School if she's my sister"? It's funny how a 7 year old thinks. We can learn a lot from them.
There is nothing better than being Abby's Mom. I just need some direction in which way to go with this. I can only take away so many things. It's like she tests me. She's always happier if she sees her Dad at least once a week. She's the most important thing in our life...no matter what's going on in our own life.