Your guide to online dating during the Covid-19 pandemic
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During the ongoing Covid-19 Coronavirus pandemic and orders to be socially distant and stay home, singles are taking an online approach to dating in an effort to find that special someone in their life.
While these executive orders are necessary to curb the spread of the coronavirus, it's adding to the isolation many singles are already feeling during the pandemic.
New Jersey's Matchmaker Dating Service, dating coach and relationship expert Julianne Cantarella, who is also a former social worker and therapist, explains that this isolation is now magnified and it's bringing on a ramped up desire to connect with someone but she reminds everyone that it's important to take things slow.
"You're never going to jump in and think you're going to create an instant relationship because that's just not real anyway," Cantarella tells WOBM News. "The idea that you're going to try to create a relationship is still going to be based on taking things slowly and getting to know someone."
Cantarella says that after a few messages back and forth with someone, try talking on the phone or have a video chat on FaceTime or Zoom.
"I say between 4 to 6 comfortable email exchanges on an app then someone can suggest 'Hey, I really enjoyed this, why don't we think about having a FaceTime call?'," Cantarella said. "You want to have communication, you want to try and grow the communication as much as you possibly can."
If all goes well, head on a virtual date by touring a museum, zoo or have a picnic at home.
"I've had clients who make meals at their own homes and then get on a Zoom call and basically have a "picnic" and sit across from each other over the computer and have shared time together over a meal. We can still do that, but pace yourself," Cantarella said.
She cautions daters not to get ahead of themselves and believe you're in a relationship with someone until you've started to have some face to face interaction (when it's allowed).
"They have to grow things and then hopefully when things open up, they'll get to meet this person in person and that's really where they'll get a better sense of who this person is," Cantarella said. "Don't get carried away and think that this person you're communicating with is your ultimate soulmate because you really need to get to a face-to-face at some point."
Cantarella has some helpful dating and relationship tips for use both online and in person:
Keep Your Bio Short:
"You definitely want to present an authentic version of yourself but you don't want to put your whole life story out there. Keep your bio short, enough to identify your dynamic personality and some interests you have."
Keep 5 Good Quality Photos On Your Profile...And Make Sure They're Of You:
"Don't post pictures of your meals that you're eating. You're marketing you. You're going to market yourself to the person you want to meet. When you're doing that be proactive and make sure you're presenting the best version of you."
Lmit How Much You Talk About Yourself:
"Be interested in the person that you are corresponding with. This is the biggest mistake I see men make. It's all about them. I work with both men and women online but find that a woman will say something like "so, what do you do for work?" and then all of the sudden it becomes about him and that's fine but you have to show you're interested in a woman. Ask about them, what are their interests, what are they doing."
Be Healthy In Your Everyday:
"That does play into how you approach a relationship, how you show up in a relationship and how you manage a relationship. Make sure that you're eating healthy, make sure that if you can you're getting outside, do some exercise and keep your mindset as healthy as possible."
Pace Yourself:
"Don't communicate everyday, you're going to want to communicate maybe every other day or every third day. Try and make sure that you're not just texting, that you are speaking by phone but keep it at 45-minutes tops."
Take Things Slow:
"Don't think that this person you're speaking to is The One and give a few people a chance to communicate with you. Don't choose one person and say "this is it!", keep your options open and get to know a couple of people. Don't just choose the first person that comes along."
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