My Mother Taught Me Many Things

Mother’s Day is Sunday so I’m bringing back a segment from the past.  Here’s a list of some of the great things Mothers have taught and passed down to generations:

• My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.  I just finished cleaning.”
• My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
• My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week.”
• My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”
• My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
• My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
• My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all the lima beans are gone.”
• My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room looks like a tornado went through it.”
• My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.  Don’t exaggerate.”
• My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world and I can take you out.”
• My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. “Stop acting like your father.”
• My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”
• My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home.”
• My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

So how many of these did your mother teach you?