The Most Important Rule For Dinner Party Guests That Only Applies In NJ

If you’re from New Jersey, you probably learned one unspoken rule early in life: you never show up to someone’s house empty-handed.

If my aunt invited the family over for Sunday dinner and I walked in with nothing, I’m pretty sure I’d be disowned before the pasta even hit the table.

With that being said, you can imagine my confusion when a friend who lives in Nashville told me her ex-boyfriend thought she was “doing too much” just for asking what she could bring to his aunt’s house for dinner.

It’s Not Required To Bring Something For The Host To Every Dinner Party

According to American etiquette guides, bringing something isn’t actually required in many parts of the U.S. Some etiquette experts say guests technically don’t need to bring anything unless it’s a special occasion.

Showing up with just yourself is considered totally acceptable in a lot of places. I'd likely never do that to anyone in my family, though.

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However, other etiquette pros still say a small host gift like wine, flowers, or dessert is a thoughtful way to show appreciation when someone invites you into their home for a party.

So basically, the rules are confusing.

Sometimes Bringing Food To Dinner Can Even Be Awkward

Here’s another plot twist for you. Some hosts actually don’t want guests bringing food, because it can mess with the menu they already planned.

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Entertaining experts often recommend bringing something the host can enjoy later instead like chocolates, coffee, or a candle so they don’t feel pressure to serve it during the meal.

In Jersey… We’re Bringing Something To Dinner Always

Maybe it’s an East Coast thing. Maybe it’s the Italian-American upbringing a lot of us share.

Around here, if someone invites you over, you’re walking in with something. It can be wine, dessert, pastries, something from the bakery, anything.

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In Jersey, showing up empty-handed just feels… wrong. Apparently, that might actually just be a Jersey thing.