Artificial Intelligence Goes Low and Brutally Roasts New Jersey

What are your feelings about artificial intelligence or AI?

Personally, I find AI to be scary but fascinating. It's not going away, so we might as well embrace it and use it for good.

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Lately, a popular trend on TikTok has been giving ChatGBT your social media profile pic and having it roast you.

As they say, be careful what you wish for. This bot doesn't hold back and is absolutely taking people down.

After watching these roasts, I figured we'd try an experiment. Instead of getting too personal, I asked ChatGBT to roast New Jersey.

This is the prompt I gave ChatGBT.

Do a savage roast of New Jersey, and don't hold back.

Here's the response from AI.

New Jersey: Where dreams go to get stuck in traffic behind a 2003 Honda Civic with one taillight out and a "Wawa > Sheetz" bumper sticker.

Y'all really slapped the word "Garden" on the license plate like we wouldn't notice you're 90% parking lots, warehouses, and diners with menus thicker than the Bible. The only thing growing in New Jersey is the number of people trying to move to Florida.

You got North Jersey acting like they're honorary New Yorkers, South Jersey pretending they're from Philly, and Central Jersey... well, let's be real, Central Jersey doesn't even exist — it's just a gas station between the two.

The state animal is technically the horse, but we all know it's really the girl in UGG boots screaming at her boyfriend in the parking lot of a Wawa at 2 AM.

Every town has like three nail salons, five bagel shops, and one dude named Vinny who "knows a guy" for literally anything — from getting concert tickets to making your speeding ticket disappear.

And don't even get me started on the accents. How does one state manage to sound like a Real Housewife fighting for child support AND Tony Soprano plotting a hit — at the same time?

Oh, you live in Jersey? Cool. Which exit?

Ouch. What I think is most frightening is that ChatGBT has really learned about New Jersey's quirks. There's not much there that isn't true. It may be exaggerated, but it's accurate.

Do we dare ask ChatGBT to roast the Jersey Shore? I wrote:

Thanks for the sick roast. Let's get more specific. Can you take down the Jersey Shore?

Of course, "it" can.

The Jersey Shore: where spray tans go to die and flip-flops are considered formal wear.

First of all, why does the whole Shore smell like salt water, fried Oreos, and regret? The entire coastline is just one long string of broken dreams, overpriced parking lots, and T-shirt shops selling shirts that say "Trust No Bitch" in rhinestones.

Seaside Heights looks like if a vape pen came to life and started charging $15 for a hot dog. It's basically a Mad Max wasteland but with more tribal tattoos and broken sunglasses. Half the people on the boardwalk look like they got lost on their way to court.

Wildwood? Oh, you mean North Florida with better pizza? The boardwalk is 38 miles long and 90% of it is just those claw machines that never let you win. Meanwhile, there's always some guy named Dominic walking around shirtless with his girl yelling at him like she's auditioning for a reality show that will never air.

Point Pleasant tries to act classy, but we all know that beach is just Seaside with a gel manicure. You pay $12 to sit on sand that feels like it was imported straight from the parking lot of a Walmart.

And let's not forget the nightlife — where every bar has three DJs named Mike and two girls fighting in the bathroom because someone side-eyed their Michael Kors purse.

Harsh!