These are New Jersey’s favorite ‘dad jokes’

Apparently I’m entering my “dad joke” era.

On Thursday’s afternoon show on NJ101.5, I couldn’t help myself from making them.

For instance one caller was telling a story about a friend who got a tattoo on their rear end. It was right there, staring me in the face, I had to ask if it was a “pain in the ass.”

Groans.

Then someone shared a story about their regrettable tattoo that looked like Tony the Tiger. I pointed out that such a tattoo wasn’t “GRRRRREAT.”

Eye rolls.

It was after the second joke (which I 100% stand by) that my cohost, Jeff, nearly hosted an intervention for my dad-level jokes (HE’S the dad, not me!).

We decided to find out what other dad jokes New Jersey has to offer. Here are some of the best ones that NJ101.5 listeners had for us along with how I rated them on the "dad scale."

“My wife asked me why I didn’t buy her flowers… to be fair, I didn’t know she sold flowers.”

Dad rating: 1 out of 10 lawnmowers

“So my wife screams ‘you haven’t heard a single word I said, have you?!’… What a weird way to start a conversation.”

Dad rating: 7 out of 10 remote controls

“Have you seen the movie about constipation? No? That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.”

Dad rating: 9 out of 10 episodes of M*A*S*H*

“A blond, a brunette and a red head walk into a bar… they all said ‘ouch.’”

Dad rating: 3 out of 10 utility sheds

“I fell down the stairs today. I thought I busted my butt… I looked back and it only had a crack in it.”

Dad rating: 8 out of 10 garage door openers

“Which friends do you always bring to dinner? Your taste buds!”

Dad rating: 4 out of 10 Ring doorbell notifications

“If you’re up at night while the cows are asleep in the field… that means it’s pasture bedtime.”

Dad rating: 4 out of 10 James Bond films

“My wife says I have two major flaws. One, I never listen to her. Two, something else.”

Dad rating: 8.5 out of 10 refusals to ask for directions.

“Did you hear about the blind carpenter? He took out his hammer and saw.”

Dad rating: 7 out of 10 calls from your daughter about something wrong with her car

“How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.”

Dad rating: 8 out of 10 hamburgers

“What is Forrest Gump’s password?

1Forrest1”

Dad rating: 5 out of 10 World War II novels

Finally, one listener hit us with one that you have to do over the phone.

“I’m over here doing my crossword puzzle, what’s a three letter word for purchase?”

When the person responds with “buy,” you say “bye” and hang up.

It was so well played that it gets a perfect score: 10 out of 10 Swiss army knives

The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5's Kylie Moore. Any opinions expressed are Kylie's own. You can follow Kylie on Instagram.
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