Brick Memorial High School wrestler Alec Donovan, an individual New Jersey State Champion in March, is making headlines for publicly revealing that he is gay. Why is this significant when so many professional athletes have recently come out?

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Psychologist Dr. Steven Tobias, director of the Center for Child and Family Development in Morristown, said fortunately it's less news as more professional athletes are coming out.

"It's more accepted within the community. It's not as a big a deal certainly as it was in the past, but I think the more this happens the better it is for everyone," said Dr. Tobias.

Tobias pointed out, in high school it's especially difficult for teens struggling privately with their sexuality as opposed to adults with an established reputation or who already are accepted within the community.

"It does require more courage, and I think it does serve as role models for other gay and lesbian teenagers to be comfortable and to have the courage to come out and to know they're going to be accepted. The other thing is that it does lead to more acceptance in the wider community."

He added that people need to realize homosexuality is part of life, and that there is a significant gay and lesbian population. "It's good for the community at large in terms of increasing everybody's acceptance, and to really make it not a big deal anymore."

While the parent of a gay or lesbian teen should be accepting, loving, supportive and reassuring to that child, Tobias said the best thing parents of other kids can do is to make it a non-issue when someone decides to come out.

"Be sort of matter-of-fact about it, because that way I think it shows that the parent is accepting." Tobias added, "But, my guess is that in this generation kids are even more accepting of it than their parents might be, so that's why I think it would be important for the parents to also model acceptance, understanding and support."

Society is trying to depathologize the whole idea of sexuality, according to Tobias. He added, "It's just a normal variation of normal, so that's why I think the more acceptance, the more awareness people have of it, the more common it becomes, maybe it will be less of an issue as we move along."

OutSports reported that Donovan told another wrestler he is gay during a recruiting trip to Limestone College in South Carolina.

He told the Asbury Park Press his parents knew and some of his teammates, but that coming out publicly was a relief.

 

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