Who I Am, And Why Community Matters In The Wake Of Orlando

We’re all part of a community. In fact, when you think about it, we’re all part of many communities.

We are the Ocean County Community.

Some of us are part of communities that celebrate our heritage, like Italian-American clubs.

Some of us are part of the Toms River Schools community, or the Central Regional community.

Some of us are part of the immigrant community.

And some of us are part of the gay community.

When our communities are attacked, all members of that community feel it.

When I woke up on Sunday morning to the first news article saying that 20 people had been brutally murdered at a gay club in Orlando, I was devastated, confused, and scared. When the story developed in the next few hours to say that 49 people had been killed, I was totally crushed.

Not only have I visited Orlando many times, but I have many friends who live there, and a number of friends who could have very well been at Pulse that night.

The gay community encompasses many men and women of all colors, races, and backgrounds. For many of us, clubs like Pulse are safe spaces.

As an out gay man, I have been truly blessed in my life to be surrounded by an incredible support system. My family, friends, and co-workers have always been 100% supportive. I have never had to think twice about bringing a partner to a wedding, a 4^th of July BBQ, or a work party .

And I realize that not everyone has that, which is what makes this tragedy all the more terrifying.

Clubs like Pulse are safe places where a man who was been kicked out of his house because of his sexuality when he was young, can go to forget that trauma for at least a little while.

A woman who has never been able to tell her family who she’s dating, can have a night out with her partner without judgment.

And a kid who thinks he’s all alone in the world, has somewhere to go to realize that there are many, many others just like him.

A deranged murderer tore that safe space apart.

As you may know, June is Pride Month. And there are many Pride events still scheduled for the remainder of June, including New York City’s massive Pride Parade.

And you know what? People are scared.

A madman has taken our community’s few safe spaces and turned eager anticipation of an event and the joy of being with community, into fear.

Which is the very definition of terrorism.

Sometimes you don’t truly understand the depth of a tragedy until it happens to your community.

And it’s times like this when communities must come together.

The Ocean County community came together like I’ve never seen before in the aftermath of Sandy. There was also support and generosity from those outside of our community like we could have never expected.

And now, the gay community must come together, along with the support of our allies, to show the world that we will take our safe spaces back. Terrorism cannot stop human beings from expressing the joy, love, and togetherness that we need to live and love freely.

If you’d like more information on how you can help the families, partners, and community impacted by the tragedy in Orlando, just click here for a list of resources. If you’d like to show your support in person, this Saturday, Garden State Equality will be hosting their 7^th annual Equality Walk in Asbury Park, and there will be a number of other local events, including vigils in Freehold and Red Bank.