What It Means To Be Irish

St. Patrick’s Day is a public holiday in Ireland while here it’s more likely associated with celebrations and they will be toasting the patron saint himself in Ocean County at Klee’s Bar & Grille (Seaside Heights), Caffrey’s Tavern (Forked River), P.J. Sweeney’s (Brick), The Crab’s Claw Inn (Lavallette), McIntyre’s Pub (Toms River), Bum Rogers (South Seaside Park), The Lighthouse Tavern (Waretown), Miracle Pub (Toms River), Office Lounge (Toms River) and many others.

As much a tradition as corned beef and cabbage on this day I deliver a little ditty from Joseph Keefe so being the grandson of Lillian Maloney I give you what being Irish means:

• You will never play pro basketball.
• Your swear very well.
• At least one of your cousins holds political office.
• You think you sing very well…and while you don’t know the words that does not stop you.
• You have no idea how to make a long story short.
• Much of your food was boiled.
• You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
• You’re strangely poetic after a few beers…you are therefore poetic a lot.
• You will be punched for no good reason a lot. Some punches are legacies from past generations.
• Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
• You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start.
• You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent you make up for in frequency.
• There wasn’t a huge difference between your last wake and last keg party.
• Your parents were on a first-name basis with everyone in the ER of your local hospital.
• You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
• You are or know someone named Murph. If you don’t know Murph then you know Mac.  If you don’t know Murph or Mac then for sure you know Sully.