Nothing against artificial Christmas trees but in our house it’s real or it’s not a tree. 

The Williams Family Christmas tree
The Williams Family Christmas tree (Kevin Williams, Townsquare Media NJ)
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I’m sure just about everyone at one time or another has had a live tree but you may have forgotten the challenges that sometimes come with putting one up.  We in the Williams Family have had a somewhat checkered past when it comes to the real deal but will continue to write new chapters as opposed to taking the easy way out and going artificial.

This latest chapter provided no drama, no issues, and no dilemmas of any kind.  However each Christmas season I am reminded of problems from the past which often made me very scrooge-like.

For quite a while the biggest problem seemed to be the tree stand.  You might remember that years ago they pretty much made only lightweight ones which were fine for a Christmas tree with an average or small base.  However we would usually end up with a Douglas or Fraser Fir in which the base of the tree simply was too wide for the stand.  I would end up chopping away with a saw or an axe to try and make the tree bottom narrower.  Eventually I would squeeze the tree into the stand but often there was too much weight to keep it straight and prevent it from tipping over. Alternative measures were needed, everything from weights to hold the stand to tying rope around the tree and securing it to the wall.

It was an annual adventure and one year will always stand out when our children were ages 7 and 1. We had all kinds of problems but finally got the tree up and decorated although it was late at night before the job was completed. Then in the wee hours of the morning my wife Jane woke up to the sound of the tree crashing to the floor.  It was utter chaos as we first had to clean up the mess and they try and get the tree back up and re-decorated.

We managed to do this without waking the kids and then I showered, dressed and left for work.  I started the car and began backing out of the driveway when Jane opened the door and screamed out “it fell again.”  I of course ran back into the house after uttering every four-letter word I know. Eventually we came up with a solution that worked but I don’t recommend nailing the tree stand right into the floor through the carpet. That’s what I did.

Over the years things have gotten much better to two reasons.  First they make tree stands that could hold a giant sequoia and second we don’t buy trees quite as big and wide so this past weekend the two of us had an easy time putting up and decorating our tree, a Fraser Fir.

I know artificial is pretty and easy but it comes without any adventure plus it doesn’t smell like a Christmas tree.I’ll go Festivus Pole before I go artificial.

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