The Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Take Joe on the Vacation of a Lifetime

So I walked in this morning, and I asked the bosses if I was elgible to win the Vacation of a Lifetime. They said I'm not, but I think I found a loophole! I could be YOUR guest on the trip if you win. So I made a list of the reasons why I am happy to be your guest on the trip.
Dear WOBM Listener,

If you win the Vacation of a Lifetime, I want to be YOUR guest! I TRULY am the PERFECT plus one on a vacation. Don't believe me? Here are the top 5 reasons why you should invite me to come along when you win the trip.

1. I'm agreeable. I won't care which trip you choose. We can go to Orlando, Punta Cana or California. It's a trip, so I am there!

By the way, today's forecast in all three destinations:

Orlando - 86* and sunny
Punta Cana - 87* and sunny. 0% chance of storms.
Los Angeles - A comfortable 75* with sunny skies.

Hello, spring fever!  

2. If you choose Punta Cana, I'll pack your beach bag for you and fetch you a drink or two during the trip. I can be your personal bartender!

3. If you choose Orlando, I am happy to be a built in babysitter for the kids.

4. If you choose California, I'll bring a selfie stick so you can get pictures with all of the celebrities in LA. I can also take photos in San Francisco. I am a built in photographer for the trip of a lifetime.

... 5. You probably don't want to actually take me as a guest on this memorable trip. I understand, but YOU should enter to win right now. It's super easy. Enter to win then listen for your name. It is THAT simple.