The Real Differences Between Men and Women

Earlier in the week several of us in the office had a conversation in which I expressed my feelings that I find it wrong that so many don’t recognize the basic differences between men and women. I’m not talking about the obvious but rather how we act and react to things which I find as totally normal.

Am I supposed to notice she changed the curtains or is she supposed to notice the Mets have new uniforms? Maybe not a good example but you know what I mean?

It all hit home when I read something in Men’s Health about “Things We Wish Women Knew About Us.” Among them with some edits:

• Your expectations? They’re all yours. We don’t need them!
• We don’t care if you had a lot of boyfriends before us. The number doesn’t matter. What we really care about is that those boyfriends were all unemployed mouth-breathing small creatures.
• Yes, actually, we think it does make you look fat.
• Complaining that we never ask for directions is like us complaining that you wear heels even when you know that the evening is going to involve a lot of walking. We’re all irrational creatures so let’s just let everybody have his or her thing, okay?
• It’s unlikely that we will ever notice your new haircut unless you point it out. And when you do point it out, please don’t make it an accusation.
• You think we’re driving too fast now? You ought to see us when you’re not in the car.
• Every one of us is well aware that we’re whiny babies who can’t take care of ourselves when we’re sick.
• We’re completely different people at the office.

• Actually, we don’t hate shopping. You just pick the wrong stores.
• We cry.   But it has to be worth our tears. Like Field of Dreams worthy. If Colin Firth makes a film about baseball and fathers, then fine…we’ll bawl along with you.
• In our world if you say “nothing’s wrong,” that means “nothing’s wrong.” Because if you believe, as we do, that language is a form of communication in which a linguistic system of symbols or sounds is used to convey ideas and feelings, then maybe you should just say what you mean already!