Rules Of The Beach – Hometown View
Summer officially arrives today and certainly the heat will send many flocking to the beach seeking relief. As I’ve done in the past I offer the real rules that apply to the beach.
When I say “real” I mean these are the ones not posted on any signs although they probably should be. Much of this is common sense but we know there is a genuine lack of that everywhere and the white sands are no exception. While the 2nd Avenue Beach in Seaside Park is sacred grounds to me to some it holds no special significance and just happens to be the place they end up.
However whether in Seaside Park, Long Beach Island, Ortley Beach or Point Pleasant Beach the Williams 10 commandments should be followed:
1. This is not Coney Island so seek space between yourself and those nearby.
It’s fine to “love thy neighbor” but there is no reason to see right on top of him.
2. Your music should be for your ears…not everyone within 50 feet of you.
3. I’m an expert on the tides and plan accordingly. So if you sit right in front of me and are staying for the day there is a pretty good chance a wave is going to wipe you out. Plus I don’t want to look at your back all day.
4. The beach is a family place but when your children walk over my blanket and knock down my cup of coffee can you do more than just smile.
5. Place disposable diapers in a plastic bag before you throw them in the garbage.
6. That long lounge chair that looks fine in your backyard really looks lame and stupid on the beach. It’s a sure sign you’re down for the day or week.
7. Don’t argue with the lifeguards…they probably know the water conditions just a bit better than you. And if they do have to come and rescue you don’t tell them you’re a really good swimmer and just wanted to get a better look at the shoreline from far away.
8. I’ve never been able to figure out the digging thing, especially with fathers and sons. However if you want to spend hours digging holes with shovels please fill them in when you leave.
9. Wear the bathing suit that fits your body. This is for both women and men as some of you obviously did not look in a mirror before leaving home.
If half your body is hanging out that’s a sign that the bathing suit you are wearing does not fit properly.
10. If these rules don’t meet with your approval then please spend your next beach day at Coney Island…you’ll be right at home.