Is this the secret to managing holiday stress?

With just over a week left until Christmas, many of us are scrambling to get everything done in time — from the shopping and wrapping to the baking and cleaning. The joyous time of year often becomes the most stressful time of year.

Very high expectations and the fact that the holidays hit a busy time of year add to that stress, according to Dr. Deborah Carr, a sociology professor at Rutgers University.

"People are still working, children are still in school, and so people expect themselves to do a lot, often when they have very little time and energy," Carr said.

Carr advises being realistic about finances and family.

"I think the expectations are just high that we should have a perfect holiday, with wonderful family interactions and delicious food," Carr said, "That's an awfully big bill to fill. You know there are immediate images of perfect holidays, but most families aren't perfect."

Carr said things can go awry even under the best of circumstances.

"I think that people need to be realistic, not only about who they are, and who their family members are, but also their financial standing," she said. "People shouldn't be spending money they don't have, whether it's on meals or gifts, and sometimes these gestures to be really generous end up making people very stressed about the fact that they might not have money to cover other essentials at this time of year.

"Sometimes to have a good family celebration, sometimes people do need to put their individual needs first. I know that sounds selfish, but it really isn't."

Those who feel they're at the breaking point, or that they're too exhausted to host the meal should take a time out, she said. Carr advises suggesting going out to a restaurant or excusing yourself from the dinner party for about 30 minutes, to give yourself a break.

"By taking care of oneself, you're actually taking care of the group, because you're defusing a lot of the tension that might have been there otherwise,"  Carr said.

It seems women especially find it difficult to allow themselves to take a step back when they are trying to do it all and prepare everything for the holidays, Carr said.

"I think a lot of women are just perfectionists and they expect a lot of themselves, but people expect a lot of them," Carr said. "So. I think the family needs to be really mindful of whatever challenges the host is experiencing, especially if it's a mom or grandma who might have other things going on, and let them know that it's really not about the food on the table, it's about the company around the table."

Overeating and overdrinking also can cause stress when you're trying to enjoy celebrating Christmas and New Year's, according to Carr. "Be mindful of what you eat or drink, or give someone the role of overseeing you," she said.

Carr also suggested getting enough sleep and giving yourself plenty of time to get to your holiday destination to avoid creating or adding to stress.