Here’s Help For Your Resume!

I have tips for you on what "Not" to put on your resume

• Sensitive identifying information.  Don't give them your social security number before you get the job.  You don't know where they're storing that resume, or who gets to see it after you hand it over.
• Weird hobbies. You might think all your weird hobbies make you more interesting in an interview, like maybe they'll be a conversation starter.  But actually they just make you LOOK WEIRD.  And weird people don't get jobs when a normal person is available.
• Attention-getting tactics.  Don't print a resume on colored paper, or use weird fonts or decorations.  Hiring managers hate all that stuff, pretty much without exception.  It's all part of taking the job seriously.
• Wild career objectives.  Don't apply for a job in the mailroom and say you intend to become the CEO.  Ambition is great, but delusions will get you passed over.
• Irrelevant job experience.  No one wants to read about your part-time jobs in high school.  Stick to the experience that QUALIFIES you for the job you want.  If that makes your resume too short, that probably means you shouldn't be applying in the first place.
• Your private business.  Your marital status, religious affiliation, sexual orientation and other private matters shouldn't go on a resume.  Employers aren't allowed to take them into account anyway.  And for almost all jobs, they're irrelevant to performance.
• Big vocabulary words.  They won't impress anyone.  People who don't know them will resent you, and people who do know them will see through it.  And BOTH groups will think you're a showoff.
• Unprofessional-sounding email addresses.  If you're still rocking your "SexyLady69@gmail.com" address from junior college, open a new account.  It's free and it takes two minutes.  If you don't take the job seriously, you won't get it.

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